Proposition 8 ruled 'unconstitutional'. Yes, it's another victory for the namby-pamby liberals.

Yesterday, on 04.08.2010, something rather lovely happened. California's Proposition 8 was overturned, ruled 'unconstitutional', by a US District Chief Judge. Although the ruling is still pending appeal, it's not inappropriate to view it as a pretty extraordinary victory for common sense and equality.

For those who may be unfamiliar with Proposition 8, it was California's constitutional amendment which stated that marriage was only to be valid between a man and a woman. In short, gay marriage was completely outlawed, and thus so were the rights of gay people living in the state. Prop 8 as it's often colloquially referred to is also known as the 'California Marriage Protection Act', which I think says a lot about the mindsets of the bureaucratic bigots who pushed their pens to get it passed. 'Protection'? From what? From gay people? If it's 'protecting' the institution of marriage that concerns you so much, then maybe you should be excluding dangerous people from it, rather than people who don't quite fit under your umbrella of 'normality'.

It's also worth noting that it wasn't exclusively religious people who supported Prop 8. In fact, the California Council of Churches called for its 'immediate removal' on the grounds that some churches had given their support to gay marriage and it therefore infringed on the religious rights of the institutions. The Board of Rabbis of California also opposed it, as did all of the main bishops of the Episcopal diosces.

It also wasn't the media that called for the support of Prop 8. All ten of California's main newspapers were editorially biased against it.

So, who did support Prop 8? The Roman Catholic Church and the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints (that's the Mormons to you and me) certainly did. Then again, they probably voted while eating a delicious shellfish platter wearing nylon and polyester clothing, so I personally take their vote with a pinch of salt.

The fact is that the majority of people who supported Prop 8 did so because, in their cluttered little minds, the purpose of marriage is to reproduce.

Now, I'm not trying to be facetious (much) here, but I think that's a complete load of excrement. If that's your argument, then surely infertile people, people who have gone through the menopause and people who just don't want children should have also been persecuted by Prop 8?

When you put it like that, the argument for Prop 8 pretty much flies out the window and gets defecated on by a flock of pigeons on the way down before landing in a huge pile of cow dung.

Gay marriage just doesn't affect anyone who doesn't choose to get involved. Unless someone kidnaps you at gunpoint and forces you to marry someone of your own gender, then I just don't understand how it infringes on your rights to marry someone of the opposite sex. Marriage shouldn't be a heterosexual privilege. Maybe it goes against your beliefs, but it doesn't harm you. Girls who look like Wotsits in string bikinis goes against my personal beliefs, but I recognise that it's their right to dress like that if they want to. I would never dream of passing a law that says they have to wear what I want them to wear because it offends me. Newspaper headlines with bad puns offend me, but do I want them banned? No. I just want journalists to stop being lazy. But that's another story altogether.

You might think, 'but I'm straight / British / ignorant. How does this affect me?' Well, to put it simply, the dismissal of Prop 8 symbolises a step in the right direction in the name of equality. The fact that it were allowed to be passed in the first place denotes a step backwards. Prop 8 symbolises everything that still needs to be addressed in society; prejudice, ignorance, violence (death threats and even hoax anthrax alerts were used on both sides) and segregation. Opinions were polarised and there was no suggestion of compromise.

To summarise, I suggest that anyone who supports Prop 8 take a good look in the mirror. Imagine if the law were reversed. Imagine if you woke up one morning and discovered that heterosexual marriage had been banned. I bet you'd fight for your constitutional rights then. You'd probably become a namby-pamby, equality-supporting liberal yourself.

Equality is not subjective. No-one is more deserving of equality than another. And if gay marriage offends you, then may I suggest that you focus on your own life and simply steer clear of it yourself.

And Now For Something Topical...

The date today, as many of you should have noticed by now, is April 1st- otherwise known as April Fools Day. Now, being an advocate of this celebratory day- one of the few remaining uncommercialised by themed cards and gift wrap- I followed in the annual tradition of tricking people and playing immature jokes. As a Brit, I had only until noon to get this mischievous day out of my system. However, it’s the Easter holidays and I didn’t wake up until somewhere around ten (a time which, for many, is still considered too early) leaving myself only two hours. So many fools, so little time.

With such a short amount of time to hand, what is the best trick one can play in order to fully utilise the day? Many websites and newspapers will publish false stories, and many of them will be believed because people are so predisposed to believing certain sources. Many people simply forget about the existence of April Fools Day altogether, one of the many reasons the general populace are easy to fool, if only for a second.

Having flicked through a copy of today’s Independent, I noted two April Fools jokes within the opening eight pages or so and both of these were in advertisements. The first was attempting to sell new MiracleShirts™, a shirt for men which utilised G.U.F.F technology to eliminate body odour. The second was from BMW, proposing that BMW owners should buy new badges for their cars in either red, yellow or blue to display their support for a chosen political party- this isn’t the first time I’ve seen a false advert from BMW on April 1st and for that I commend them (but not those that emailed uwe.benhadde@bmw looking to buy one of these badges. These people truly are fools).

Whatever fake products these adverts were promoting (and a part of me questions the ethics and liability of false advertising in these cases), we still get a clear idea of the easiest method of fooling people:

Tell people things that they want to hear.

Yes, it’s basic and may be construed as cruel to get peoples’ hopes up only to cut them down with a jubilant ‘APRIL FOOLS!’, but it gets the job done. People are only too ready to believe the things that they wish to be true.

I took a similar approach myself. For example, I told a few friends that school would remain closed a few days after the intended finish date of the Easter holidays due to a leak creating water damage which would need the extra time to be safely dealt with. It wasn’t particularly funny for anyone other than myself, if only to hear people’s reactions when I pointed out that I had, in effect, lied to them. I’d say about roughly 90% of people I told this to believed me and so I was quick to correct my own misleading ways- had that rumour spread it could’ve been a hazard; if amusing.

April Fools isn’t about making people look foolish, it’s about encouraging people to laugh at themselves and even, in some ways, to become more wary of what they encounter in the media. It’s like a yearly lesson in how not be gullible in a world saturated by media gossip and rumours. You’ve got to be shrewd about what you take in and not just accept everything at a face value, even if sometimes the unbelievable turns out to be what should be believed (as demonstrated here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8598637.stm).

Only the paranoid minority will ever remain vigilant on this day of childish pranks and mild hilarity. Only the brave few will ever pull proper, newsworthy stunts and for that, I salute them. I’d rather not get arrested. However, I think this day does remind us something- not to be wary of this one day a year, but to always be cautious of believing what you want to be real. There lies an inescapable danger in life, and we can all be made fools of twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and fifty six days a year. So learn to laugh at yourself and not to take everything too seriously and you should be fine, though beware the Pucks among the pigeons-

‘Lord, what fools these mortals be!’